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Tuesday, September 19, 2006

Two: Random Thoughts from a Genius

To begin, I don't want the title of this post to mislead you or turn you off in any way. I am of course a genius, but I'm not the arrogant kind like Stephen Hawking or 50 Cent. I'm a very humble genius. Probably the most humble on the planet. When God made me smarter than you he also blessed me with an incredible amount of humbleness...not to mention an insatiable appetite for limes. In fact, when I'm out and about (usually to buy more limes), I often introduce myself to people with stories of my unexalted humbleness. You should see their faces.

Ok, now that I've cleared that up let me share a few random thoughts. Read them, share them at home, school, the car wash, etc. I assure you they will enrich your lives forever.

1. Stop screwing up and do what God says.

2. Most overrated animal: koala

3. Most underrated animal: porcupine

4. Who wins in a fight between a koala and porcupine? Porcupine 5 out of 6 times.

5. Change name of UN Security Council to just Security Council. Of course, things aren't very safe in the world when we have a group called the "un-security" council running things. Cosmetic name change will radically bring peace within hours.

Finally, congrats to Glenn LaBoyne of Pocatello, Idaho for finding the mallard duck and winning the big contest. Glenn found the three hidden clues in my first post, triangulated the coordinates and found the duck in Montpelier VT. Glenn, his wife Vicki, and their two kids Sam and LuLu are on their way to Acapulco for 5 days and 2 nights courtesy of DOUI travel. An honorable mention to Toshiro Takahashi of Japan. He was the contestant that traveled the furthest to participate. Unfortunately all he did was mistakenly bludgeon a goose at the Charlotte zoo, but for his efforts we're sending him a pair of gift certificates to the Tokyo Applebees. Dinner on us Toshiro. Thanks for trying.

Excelsior

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