I saw that crack about my waistline...

...but I'll have everyone know that I'm quite svelte for a water buffalo.

Seriously, I'm not enormous or anything, I just have a little middle age spread going, like Gazza after a bender or six. I'm not much rounder than Ronaldo is right now.

Basketball fans are all shaking their heads and asking, "Who?"

I also see that Stew's bracket is completely shot, with Iona being dismissed by LSU. That's better than mine. I had Slippery Rock through to the Final Four and they're not even in this division. That's what I get for taking basketball advice from Juan Carlos and Zimpter. Juan Carlos doesn't know a basketball from a Chalupa con Carne y Ensalada. Zimpter on the other hand is just tormenting me. I hear his bracket is not only perfect, but that he predicted all the scores correctly and even nailed to the exact second the number of times that CBS play-by-play man Tim Brando intoned, "The iron unkind!"

I think he's been time-travelling again.