First You Get the What?

Brian De Palma's Scarface Outtake

(INT: TONY'S HIDEOUT.)

•     Tony Montana: In this country, you gotta make the money first. Then when you get the money, you get the power. Then when you get the power, then you get the women.

Manny: (confused look)

Tony: What's the problem?

Manny: Could you run through that again?

Tony: (Smiles) Sure! In this country, you gotta make the money first. Then when you get the money, you get the power. Then when you get the power, then you get the women.

Manny: (confused look)

Tony: What? Why don't you understand what I'm sayin'?

Manny: Well... I thought it was, "you gotta make the monkey first."

Tony: Monkey? What the **** are you talkin' about?

Manny: Monkey! You know: Chimpanzees! Gorillas!

Tony: WHAT?! Those are not monkeys, Manny!

Manny: Huh? 

Tony: Chimpanzees and Gorillas are from the subfamily of Hominoidea, you dumb ****. Monkeys are Haplorhini Simiiformes!

Manny: You know I studied Italian in school, Tony! What do you mean?

Tony: Monkeys have tails!

Frank: Yes, but the women have the tails, too!

Tony: No!! I'm talkin' about the prehensile tails! Apes just have big, hairy butts!

Frank: From what I hear, Manny has a big, hairy butt!

Manny: Hey!!! (pause) That really stings, man.

Frank: (apologetically) Sorry Manny.

Tony: Enough of this ****! We're gettin' nowhere.

(long pause)

Manny: You know, if you get the money, you could buy whatever you want, right?

Tony: Sure!

Manny: Well then... I could buy the monkey!!

Tony: WHY ARE YOU OBSSESSED WITH THE MONKEYS?!!!

Manny: (long pause)(sotto voce) I like the monkeys.

Frank: (tentatively) I like the monkeys, too.

(long pause)

Tony: Yeah, I guess I like the monkeys, too.

Manny: Especially, Mickey Dolenz.

(SCENE)