It's Oscars time. Somebody wake the Grouch.

Sunday, February 25, 2007

OK - Here are all the posts from the moment...

That Stew realised we could edit these posts... This should approximate everything that we managed to save. Again, sorry for the technical difficulties. Blogger has some issues they need to fix.

Read from the bottom up to make sense of it. A Tivo of the Oscar show would help.

It's over!!! Thanks...
...to all of you who, as Stew put it, "sat through this crap." We appreciate you very, very much.

Thanks to the people at the Academy for not putting an injunction on this event (though I suspect Cruise and Clooney may have some friends at Blogger tonight).

Thanks to the Fando, Miller, and Noe spouses who kindly put up with this nonsense during the great Mummenchanz performance this evening.

Thanks to all those who laughed, even if they're too young to know what Mummenchanz is

And Thanks to Blogger, who's incompetence and petulantly unprofessional refusal to provide timely support made this 10 times more difficult than it should have been.

But as Dave Barry would say, I am not bitter.

Not much, anyway. We'll still use the service as long as it's free.

Time to finish that Bloody Mary.

Night all! Thanks again!
posted by Earl Fando 2/25/2007 11:23:00 PM


Getting to the end now. Best Pic.
Jack is having Diane read the nominees so he can announce the winner.Maybe he can't read the autocue though...

Here it is. The Departed. Missed that one. Clint has been bested. Duck!

"The first movie he's ever done with a plot?" Well, I suppose we'll see more of them then, eh?
posted by Earl Fando 2/25/2007 11:15:00 PM

Whoops
the Media Edition must have bumped me back to an earlier time.I take that this is Best Director we're on now.Now the 3 year old is calling. Probably see you tomorrow.Thanks for everyone who sat through this crap. Good night.
posted by Stew Miller 2/25/2007 09:54:00 PM

If they interrupt Marty...
Clint will shoot the conductor. You can hear him spinning the bullet-thingy of his revolver.
posted by Earl Fando 2/25/2007 11:11:00 PM

Forrest Whitakker was clearly pumped up!
Directors now... and Martin Scorsese now has an Oscar. Take that Three-Six-Crew!
posted by Earl Fando 2/25/2007 11:09:00 PM


Blimey! BAFTA and an Oscar.
He was second on my list - splendid actor...but O'Toole not getting an Oscar!
Well, he's young, yet.
posted by Earl Fando 2/25/2007 11:06:00 PM


Peter O' Toole
Just getting this in before the award if I can.
posted by Earl Fando 2/25/2007 11:03:00 PM


I'm ready for the backstage bloke to stop...
..and what's with Jeeves dusting the Oscars every 15 minutes. Is Philip Seymour Hoffman that dusty?
posted by Earl Fando 2/25/2007 10:58:00 PM


Helen Mirren of course
I was typing it as Philip said it.
What's that peculiar American expression? Ah, yes... "Duh!"
posted by Earl Fando 2/25/2007 10:55:00 PM

All right, I was wrong...
I do have a few comments about the departed, all tastefully respectful.

I didn't know that Red Buttons passed away... and he never had a roast.

Robert Altman received the Lifetime Achievement Award last year.

The award is known to Academy senior citizens as "The Kiss of Death Award." Clint Eastwood has vowed to shoot anyone who tries to give the award to him, so they keep giving him regular Oscars instead. Jack Nicholson has a special golf club set aside for anyone who tries to give one to him.
posted by Earl Fando 2/25/2007 10:53:00 PM

Nice speech from what's her name...
...the editing award winner.Now those who've passed. No jokes here.
posted by Earl Fando 2/25/2007 10:45:00 PM


Hollywood showing that they know...
...less about America than people from other planets.

The bits on religion were priceless. Hollywood's idea of religion is people hitting themselves over the heads with big floppy Bibles, whilst asking for money on the telly.

Back to the actual awards, so we can hear someone cut off in mid-speech to make room for another film bit or Mummenchanz routine.
posted by Earl Fando 2/25/2007 10:42:00 PM


Stew appears to have tuckered out.
Reediting all this and then saving it for later is very wearing. The Oscar for best portrayal of incompetent gits goes to Blogger, hands down.
posted by Earl Fando 2/25/2007 10:36:00 PM

John Travolta: Full-Figured Woman! (more)
Seriously, when he said it I thought it was just the Bloody Mary taking effect.
posted by Earl Fando 2/25/2007 10:33:00 PM

John Travolta: Full-Figured Woman!
For once, I can't wait to see the Enquirer headline next week.

Melissa Rodham-Etheridge wins for best song. Al Gore is forcibly restrained from accepting the Oscar by Melissa's incredible wife and four children. The science of that alone stunned him.
posted by Earl Fando 2/25/2007 10:31:00 PM

Stew, I'm having that Bloody Mary now.
...and it's delicious. Skyy vodka does the trick, mate.Meanwhile, the longest musical number in Oscar's history enters its second hour.
posted by Earl Fando 2/25/2007 10:27:00 PM

When Jennifer Lopez walked out...
... The orchestra should have played, "Still Crazy After All These Years."

Beyonce is making her 4,000th Oscar appearance in the last 3 years.
posted by Earl Fando 2/25/2007 10:22:00 PM

The message of the J.C. Penney's commercial?
Films make people mental! Makes me want to run right out and buy an umbrella.
posted by Earl Fando 2/25/2007 10:19:00 PM

Matthew Broderick's Assistant Won
I wonder if he's thinking, "Matthew, now you can get my $%^&ing coffee, pal!"This was one of the most certain outcomes of the evening, I think.

More Mummenchanz again. The Devil Wears Prada? Was that nominated?
posted by Earl Fando 2/25/2007 10:16:00 PM

And then....
She guns him down. "Oh, your beauty. Mr. Remington."
posted by Stew Miller 2/25/2007 09:54:00 PM

It's the comic book hour!
All right, they've done this bit.BTW - Letters from Iwo Jima will win best picture. Why? Five words: "Do you feel lucky, punk?"
posted by Earl Fando 2/25/2007 10:13:00 PM

Hey Wolverine
Come on, I can take ya!!!-I'm Spiderman
posted by Stew Miller 2/25/2007 09:54:00 PM


The Academy Head Man
Time for a drink. My arse is numb from sitting here with this laptop.He talks that fast in real life, I'm told. Ellen owes him a dollar.
posted by Earl Fando 2/25/2007 10:11:00 PM


Wolverine!
He's taller than in the comics.
posted by Earl Fando 2/25/2007 10:08:00 PM


Morricone did well.
It can't be easy knowing that the man standing besides you is heavily armed and could go, as is said in America, "postal" at any moment.

Clint's Italian was fantastic. The man should speak it in films. He might get one of those Oscars one day!
posted by Earl Fando 2/25/2007 10:07:00 PM


What Morricone is saying is...
"I wonder if the producer realises I'm having them on. They don't dare start the music early on me, the capitalista weasels!"

It's either that or "I write the songs that make the young girls sing!" My Italian is rusty. Hell, it's non-existent.
posted by Earl Fando 2/25/2007 10:04:00 PM

Just think
one day Snoop Dog will be up there accepting the award for Lifetime Achievement.Nah, just kidding? I must be loaded.
posted by Stew Miller 2/25/2007 09:54:00 PM


Since Nuffy's not here...
...I should add, did anyone catch when Clint Eastwood buried his face in Celine Dion's banque account. That was right before his neck fell off.All right his neck has been falling off for years. I hope that mine looks that good when I'm ninety.
posted by Earl Fando 2/25/2007 10:00:00 PM


Ennio is either enrapt by Celine...
...or thinking to himself, "Her Italian is awful! I hope she doesn't sing that Titanic song, too! That was such crap!"I'm just guessing, of course.
posted by Earl Fando 2/25/2007 09:57:00 PM


Al Gore will be accepting the Oscar...
...for Signore Moricone, unless Ellen tackles him on the way up.
posted by Earl Fando 2/25/2007 09:55:00 PM

Just going to sit in awe
for a few moments. I do love Morricone. Dulcet tones indeed. Ah, Cinema Paradiso now.
posted by Stew Miller 2/25/2007 09:54:00 PM

Ennio! Ennio!

The bloke rocks.
posted by Earl Fando 2/25/2007 09:53:00 PM

Hurry
Where's the music!!!!!!!!!!!!!
posted by Stew Miller 2/25/2007 09:36:00 PM


Jesus Camp...
Bet that was sympathetic.

Oh, and Al gore is on stage again, even though he didn't actually win an award. It's bad enough when the Oscars are political but can the politicians stay home? Please?????

OK - except for Clint who was a mayor once.
posted by Earl Fando 2/25/2007 09:50:00 PM


Where has Jerry been?
And when will he do a real film?

It's Al Gore's big moment. Will he take the stage? Will he preen? Is his makeup toned down?

Jerry is good. When will HE host the show?
posted by Earl Fando 2/25/2007 09:46:00 PM

Wow!...
...Microsoft Vista is a piece of crap! Well, they'll be saying it in a few months.

We havent' really written about the commercials tonight. They've mostly been unremarkable, with the exception of the clever Wes Anderson one (but what was that for?) Oh, and the Sonic boys did a foreign language film. I'm still cleaning the wretch out of the inside of my mouth... and I had Sonic tonight.
posted by Earl Fando 2/25/2007 09:44:00 PM

Best supporting actress
You knew they wouldn't give it to the child, they never do. If Anna Paquin didn't win, no child could.

George Clooney and Al Gore would be drank under the tables by Jack Nicholson. I could do with a Bloody Mary right about now, myself.
posted by Earl Fando 2/25/2007 09:37:00 PM


The Lives of Others
Right now, millions of Americans are saying to themsleves, "Hey, I don't remember seeing that at the local Cobb Cinemas!"
posted by Earl Fando 2/25/2007 09:33:00 PM


Where's Godzilla?
Didn't that win a Best Foreign Film Oscar? Not even Godzilla versus Mothra
posted by Earl Fando 2/25/2007 09:29:00 PM


It's like Hiroshima Mon Amour...
with a Japanese Actor and a French Actress.

Catherine Denevuve looks more and more like Barbara Walters the older she gets. I'm sure she's thrilled.Maybe Barbara will interview her next year. Wouldn't that be eerie?

(Nuffy - You can update posts as well and play along. Be sure and identify yourself though if you update the third one (with Stew's name on it) or you can update the time and move your posts up now. Stew, if you update the date and time, you can move the posts around as well. )
posted by Earl Fando 2/25/2007 09:26:00 PM


Yes, we missed the Tom Cruise jokes.

He was doing a humanitarian award, the Jean Hersholt...Also known as the "Pat a fellow Academy member on the back" Award.

Robert Downey is on now, looking mildly sober.

21:22

Mumenchanz Returns!

When will they bring the big tubes out?

21:19

Lots of Brits...

...as usual. They would play God Save the Queen, except that people would claim favouritism.

As if Mirren's going to lose.

25/02/07 19:39

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