It's Oscars time. Somebody wake the Grouch.

Tuesday, February 22, 2005

More on the GAN.

Since we are helping Juan with the GAN, I thought I might come up with some suggestions for chapter titles. A good chapter title can always tempt the reader and indeed propel them forward in the book. Who did not want to read on when they came to chapter 54 “The Town-Ho’s Story” in Moby Dick? Sure, we learned it was just the name of a ship and not a monologue by Velvet Jones, but we continued reading…and that is the important thing. Juan, I want to assist you in any small way so here are some chapter titles for you to consider for the first few chapters of the GAN.

Chapter 1: The Greatest American Novel Begins

This one will cause them to immediately see your work as THE GAN, forsaking all other pretenders. I just hope it’s not too pretentious.

Chapter 2: How to Turn Lead into Precious Metals

This chapter will keep them captivated and may renew interest in the study of alchemy.

Chapter 3: Mimes Explode

This will entice the reader to advance in the hope of living a vicarious dream.

Chapter 4: Rontinald and the Dapocaginous, Troglodytic Farris

This will at first promote confusion in the reader but ultimately their curiosity will lure them to discover its meaning. You will have to work a heartless, cave dwelling female blacksmith into the story however. Maybe her name could be Smithy or Rita.

Chapter 5: Cute Puppies and Soft Babies

This chapter will fulfill the need some humans have for pleasing ideas or concepts in their reading. I would avoid unpleasant plot twists such as a heroine who, after surmounting overwhelming odds, ends up a quadriplegic who gets her limbs hacked off one by one. Save that for Chapter 27… An Alarming Consequence.

Chapter 6: Free Vouchers for the First 100 Readers

Ok, this is a bit of a desperate move but if it keeps them going, you’ve got to do it.

Chapter 7: Yearnings of a Midget Lover

Alright, I admit it is a bit ribald but you have to keep the freaks onboard with something don’t you?

Those are just a few examples of chapter titles that keep the readers craving more. If you need more just give me a call sometime, I’m sure I’ve got a few more in me.

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