It's Oscars time. Somebody wake the Grouch.

Sunday, January 13, 2008

Yoicks, and a Degree!

According to the BBC, Nottingham University plans to offer a Master's degree in "Robin Hood Studies."

I think I'm going to hold out for the Doctorate in "Loch Ness Monster Studies." Just be wary of those reading for their M.D. in "Crippenology."

In any case, the catalogue of course studies for the Robin Hood degree is fascinating. I was fortunate enough to obtain a copy from a very reliable anonymous source with third-hand connections to the university custodial staff. My favourite detail is that the university has replaced the traitional academic garb with something more appropriate for the subject matter. Students reading for a Master's in Robin Hood will wear the following to their classes:





Meanwhile, the course/module descriptions are every bit as charming:


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  • RHS 100 - Stealing from the Rich and Giving to the Poor - This module explores the practical economic benefits and challenges of the redistribution of capital in a primarily agrarian economy. The difficulty of massive redistribution via highway robbery versus authoritarian decree is examined. Students will gain practical experience in the use of thin green tights as a market management tool and will also discover why Prince John and The Sheriff of Nottingham were such gits.
  • RHS 203 - Little John and Kinesiology - This module examines the ways in which the brute force of legendary sidekick Little John can be applied to everyday physical tasks, such as opening jar lids, emptying wastebins, and roughing up the local skinheads. Students will learn how to wield a quarterstaff on a log bridge and will consume large quantities of venision in an effort to build up protein levels. Students will also practise the basic elements of "John-Fu."
  • RHS 204 - The Musicology of Alan-a-Dale - This module addresses the musical development of 12th century bard-dom in the person of Alan-a-Dale. His career is closely examined from pub singer to lounge lizard to the songbird who constantly gave Robin and his men away in Nottingham Forest and was eventually beaten to death with his lute. Clsoe attention is also given to the significance of the lute as an instrument of both ballad music and bloody violence.
  • RHS 301 - Friar Tuck and Drinking Theology - This module delves into the exigisis of aeseticism and pub culture. Subtopics include Winning at Darts whilst Paralytic, Writing a Cracking Sermon whilst Blotto, and Wandering the High Street at Night - A Spiritual Journey of Discovery.
  • RHS 307 - Will Scarlet: Ponce, or Fop? - This module analyses the metrosexual fashion sense of Robin's scarlet-robed, merriest of men in the context of the homophobic, tights-wearing 12th century. A large part of the module is devoted to the age old question of Will and King Richard the Lion Hearted - Did they or didn't they?
  • RHS 401 - The Feminism of Maid Marian - This module Marian's feminist politics in close detail with special attention to the technique of manipulation of the patriarchal autocracy via the damsel in distress ploy. Also, a variety of historical evidence is presented contending that Maid Marian not only burnt her bra, but also the undergarments of several of Robin's men whilst they were wearing them.
  • RHS 405 - The Physics of Robin's Archery - This module carefully analyses the physics behind Robin's most famous shots. Prerequisites included Quantum Mechanics I and II, The Physics of Many-Worlds Theory, Time Curvature in Black Holes, and Special Cinematic Effects (available from the Film Studies department at the University of Kent).

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