If we wanted to use more than 140 characters, we'd be writing more here.

Tuesday, September 09, 2008


So much to blog about at so little time...

So the politcal conventions here in the States have passed and they were the usual festivals of pomp, circumstance,* glitz, long-winded oratory and public dry heaves. It was glorious stuff all, especially if you write a comedy blog.**

So here's a wrap up of things you may have missed at the U.S. Democratic National Convention, with a Republican wrap-up to follow tomorrow or as soon as I get to it.***

Things You May Have Missed at the 2008 U.S. Democratic National Convention****
  • Hillary Clinton's entered the Pepsi Center by jumping over 14 Greyhound coach buses on a motorcycle. (Footage)

  • I could have sworn I saw Al Franken getting coffee for Barack Obama. (Decaf latte with whipped cream, if you must know, but Stew's the expert on these things.)

  • John Edwards was sent to the undisclosed location that Dick Cheney usually inhabits during orange alerts. (Alone... he was sent alone.)

  • Bill Clinton actually accepted the presidential nomination at one point during his speech, until Michelle Obama beat him down with a rolled-up copy of the 22nd Amendment.

  • Joe Biden's acceptance speech was pre-taped and shown in fast motion. Did anyone notice that it still ran long?

  • Anyone see Lieberman? Anyone? Where was that bloke?

  • John Kerry was given a very warm welcome to the convention, until everyone suddenly realized he wasn't Ben Affleck.

  • Al Gore and Hillary got into a catfight off-set after the former First Lady mistakenly thought the former Vice-President's "Hey, I believe in recycling, but that’s ridiculous!" comment was about her. Later, they both had a beer and agreed that it was all Bill's fault. Hillary even generously paid for steak for Gore's black eye... both of them... and the broken pelvis.

  • Speaking of broken pelvises, those were Britney Spears' dancers gyrating on the set during Obama's acceptance speech. They were a package deal with the set.

  • No, they weren't dancing to Tap's "Stonehenge" but Obama whistled it while waiting for the applause to die down.

  • That was Keith Olbermann and Chris Matthews doing the "We're not worthy!" bit in front of Obama after the speech (and Joe Scarborough shooting spitwads at all three of them from the balcony until he was hauled off by security).

  • Jimmy Carter and Joe Biden got into a "smile-off" after the convention. They'd still be there if Biden's people didn't pull him away for campaign events. David Bowie was the judge for the impromptu event.
*That's circumstance and not circumcision.
** "...or the Dictionary of Unfortunate Ideas." Sorry, I was just channeling the folks at Boing Boing... that is channeling what they might be thinking if they paid any attention to this blog or knew it even existed. Bastards.
***Within a fortnight! Promise!!
****Yes, yes, I know I've already said it in the paragraph above. Please allow for the tiniest bit of form, will you?


Post a Comment

<< Home