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Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Matt Damon, Man of a Thousand Activities

Last night, one of the big trending Twitter topics was "#whatsmattdamondoing." Numerous "Sarah Silverman" (nutter) jokes abounded. My own contributions were slightly more whismical.
So, What's Matt Damon Doing?

  • Approving titles for the next Bourne film. Leading candidate: The Bourne Hip Replacement.
  • Laps in a pool full of Jello... just to show he can.
  • Bowling with President Obama. He's two pins ahead in the fifth frame.
  • The Macarena... again.
  • Building the biggest damn sandwich you've ever seen.
  • Recreating the castle set from the Princess Bride out of legos. The hard part is getting Prince Humperdinck right.
  • Jazzercise to the sweet, sweet music of Jennifer Lopez. Take that, Affleck!
  • Arranging his collection of unfinished Rubik's Cubes.
  • Riding a unicycle, whilst eating with chopsticks. You try it.
  • Dancing with kangaroos and getting the crap kicked out of him.
  • Watching yet another marathon of Jon and Kate Plus 8, now that Kate is a free woman.
  • Pilates, followed by vigorous wretching.
  • Watching the #whatsbenaffleckdoing people desperately flail around.
  • Building a box girder bridge out of frankfurters.
  • Humming the theme to Sesame Street, curled in a fetal ball.
  • Designing a new fragrance called "Clooney's Friends"
  • Contemplating having his jaw resquared.
  • Having a conniption.
  • Thinking that if he were Jason Bourne, he could easily kill all the people playing #whatsmattdamondoing
  • Thinking that Chuck Norris doesn't have to put up with this crap.
  • His 2009 taxes ...by hand!
  • 1000 squat thrusts and a bottle of tequila before calling it a day.

Seems like a busy guy.

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