Matt Damon, Man of a Thousand Activities

Last night, one of the big trending Twitter topics was "#whatsmattdamondoing." Numerous "Sarah Silverman" (nutter) jokes abounded. My own contributions were slightly more whismical.
So, What's Matt Damon Doing?

• Approving titles for the next Bourne film. Leading candidate: The Bourne Hip Replacement.
• Laps in a pool full of Jello... just to show he can.
• Bowling with President Obama. He's two pins ahead in the fifth frame.
• The Macarena... again.
• Building the biggest damn sandwich you've ever seen.
• Recreating the castle set from the Princess Bride out of legos. The hard part is getting Prince Humperdinck right.
• Jazzercise to the sweet, sweet music of Jennifer Lopez. Take that, Affleck!
• Arranging his collection of unfinished Rubik's Cubes.
• Riding a unicycle, whilst eating with chopsticks. You try it.
• Dancing with kangaroos and getting the crap kicked out of him.
• Watching yet another marathon of Jon and Kate Plus 8, now that Kate is a free woman.
• Pilates, followed by vigorous wretching.
• Watching the #whatsbenaffleckdoing people desperately flail around.
• Building a box girder bridge out of frankfurters.
• Humming the theme to Sesame Street, curled in a fetal ball.
• Designing a new fragrance called "Clooney's Friends"
• Contemplating having his jaw resquared.
• Having a conniption.
• Thinking that if he were Jason Bourne, he could easily kill all the people playing #whatsmattdamondoing
• Thinking that Chuck Norris doesn't have to put up with this crap.
• His 2009 taxes ...by hand!
• 1000 squat thrusts and a bottle of tequila before calling it a day.

Seems like a busy guy.