You mess with Harpo Marx, you get the horns.

Sunday, August 08, 2010

The Lighter Side of Hernias

For those of you who follow my tweets carefully... OK, I'll start again.

If any of you had been following my tweets carefully, you'd know that I have been diagnosed with a hernia. The specific diagnosis is immaterial other than that it involves failing the "turn your head and cough" test. Also, there will be surgery.* The important thing is to milk this for as much blogging as possible.

Seriously, it's an uncomfortable situation, both physically and socially. I have been playing and running on it but I'm going to have to give that a rest owing to my slight concern about the possibility of part of my small bowel getting caught in a bad position in my nether regions.

As you can see, there's no end of fun to be had writing about this sort of thing.

Anyway, rather than bore you with poetic descriptions of the injury, the quickest way to give you an idea of this minor misery is to show you the list of proposed titles for this post. After reading these, you'll have more than enough information.

  • Below the Belt
  • Looking for Bulges in All the Wrong Places
  • Is That a Hernia or Are You Just Glad to See Me?
  • How'd My Intestine Get All the Way Over There?
  • Excuse Me, You're Going to Make an Incision Where?!?
  • Why I'm So Crotchety, Lately
  • How to Truss for Success
  • No, You May Not Film This for Medical Posterity
  • Earl's Adventures in Underland
  • Help Me! I've Got an Enormous Abnormal Bulge in My Groin!!
*I plan to tweet as much as possible during the surgery, especially the portions where I'm heavily drugged.

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