French voters reject EU Constitution

The final tally of votes:

Oui: 45.13%
Non: 4.87%
Non, parce que Jacques Chirac est un irritable, corrompu, morceau puant de brie fétide qui devrait être poursuivi avec toutes ses maîtresses déjà ! (No, because Jacques Chirac is a petulant, corrupt, stinking piece of fetid brie who should be prosecuted along with all of his mistresses already!): 50%

Combining the last two columns produced the "non" result. Chirac described the result as "Harsh, especially considering I don't even like brie."

The German government responded to the French vote by stating in a press release, "This is just an attempt to get us to invade again. Like that'll happen!"

In Brussels the response was more predictable. The government immediately resigned and stated that it would await orders from Paris before proceeding further. Then they all stepped out for steak and frites in hollandaise sauce.