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Monday, July 11, 2005

How You Going To Say, Peoples Going Nuts

Sometimes Mr. Juan Carlos Vega look around at the world, and he getting the shivers what are going from the tippy top part of the nicely groomed jet blacky hair part of head all the ways down the spinal wire to the buttocks. That is just the unnecessarily convoluted Juan Carlos way of saying sometimes the crazy world get me the Depends Undergarment-wearing frightened. You cannot even watch ten minutes of Univision before you see some kind of the, how you say, terrible story about a mime who stabbed a clown in the nougat and bleed him or some ravenous creature of the night that shattered an old man's xyphoid process with a silver hammer he get from Maxwell. This world is turning into a hay-drizzled parade of one crazy two-cent weirdo after the other passing by and doing the terrible acts to people left and right. That is why I already buy my one way ticket to the Mars colony whenever they get around to making one of those things. On Mars, I will have an asparagus garden on the Mons Olympus near the face of Kermit the Frog and I must marry a beautiful Martian harlot dame lady person.

There is one shining example of the good news, however. While it remains increasingly true that crazy mad persons are going about stabbing horses and breaking open eggs and kidnapping the shimmering night orbs of hope, and while, yes, the news remains full of the, how you going to say, bowel-churning story one after the other of the stuff what blows up and the car what drives off the cliff into the sea and get eaten by the sharks and the clouds pouring down the white hot droplets of molten lead which were spewed into the sky by Molten Lead Factories which remain unregulated thanks to the Libertarian Party, and while Jay Cole is still running loose upon the earth and threatening to nuke Damascus, while all of these things are to the exponent power of three remaining increasingly truer, there is hope! Yes, a mercy is being shown to humanity, for we are not cast into the dregs of the, how are you considering to say, the wretched misery swamps of entropic hope. What is this mercy, you ask? Who are the ones that are sent to rescue and protect the persons what are being hurt by the parade of nutcase marble-swallowing madmen? No, not Warwick Davis, but that is a good guess. Of course, I am talking about the wild lions of Ethiopia. Already, the wild lions are protecting innocent people, and I am certain their glorious mission is only just beginning. The lions, ladies and gentlemen. They going to help us. The wild lions of the Ethiopian steam jungle. Yes. Yes. Lions. Lions.


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