It's Oscars time. Somebody wake the Grouch.

Monday, July 11, 2005

We are not on hiatus...

...We are just in the middle of a computer crunch. That is to say, my computer at home is down, thanks to a flaky operating system. (Windows ME if you're asking. Windows ME is the operating system that causes the most people to suggest that if you were to shave Bill Gates' head you'd find the number "666" tattoed on the back. The "ME" stands for "Major Error". Some have suggested that it should have been named "Windows MF", but as this is a PG site, I can't tell you what that stands for.)

We have a laptop at home, but I am not the primary owner of that. We should be getting a new computer within the next week or so (with Windows XP, also known as "Windows that kicks ME's lousy stinking bum". I have seen computers with Windows new "Media Edition" operating system. I strongly advise caution reagrding that system because, technically, that name make it Windows "ME" as well, which automatically means that it is steaming crap.)

Stew's home computer remains, for mysterious reasons, unable to access the Internet, and this is why he doesn't post during the weekends.

Juan Carlos seems to be posting during the week and only occasionally. We do not know if this is due to his hectic filming schedule or to his having been put behind bars for violating the restraining order Warwick Davis slapped on him last week.

Zimpter Fiforg is missing in action. We believe this to be a combination of his being constantly distracted by the heady Hollywood lifestyle he lives, and also by his tendency to drift off to sleep whilst sitting up.

We hope to have all of these problems resolved soon. Even now, I am calling the county gaols (jails) in Juan Carlos's and Warwick Davis' neck of the woods. Comedy waits for no man, so as you can see we've little choice than to resume this nonsense.

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