In the spooky, yet goofball tradition of Halloween, The Dictionary of Unfortunate Ideas presents:
The 2008 DOUI List of Celebrities' SCARIEST Things!!!!*
- Brian Cashman, NY Yankees General Manager - "That a team like the Phillies could win the World Series.... D'oh!"
- Barack Obama, Democratic Presidential Candidate - "4, no, make it 8 more years of failed Bush policies! Seriously, I'm not just saying that to get elected. I fear that much more than tigers or sharks or media stories about Bill Ayers."
- Madonna, pop star - "That the torpedos will malfunction, if you know what I mean."
- Oliver Stone, film director - "That Dick Cheney will come after me with a shotgun, after making 'W'."
- Dick Cheney, Vice-President of the United States - "That my Glock will jam the next time I meet Oliver Stone."
- John McCain, Republican Presidential Candidate - "Barack Obama will confiscate my seven homes after the election. At least leave me the place in Peoria. I love that place!!! Have a heart, Barry!!!"
- Joe Biden, Democratic Vice-Presidential Candidate - "Media coverage, 'cause man, I'm a walking time-bomb of gaffes. I'm still not sure why Barack picked me."
- Keith Olbermann, commentator - "That people will discover I secretly love George W. Bush. Why won't he return my calls, dammit?!?"
- Bill O'Reilly, commentator - "That people will discover I secretly love Hillary Clinton. Why won't she return my calls dammit?!?"
- Sarah Palin, Republican Vice-Presidential Candidate - "That one day I'll wake up and only be able to say, 'you betcha' and 'gosh, darn it.' That or that Todd runs off with Tina Fey."
*BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHA...*cough* *gag* *sputter* **
**The above asterisks are not footnotes... erm, except for this one.