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Saturday, September 13, 2008

Politics Ain't Just for Stiffs 'N Creeps

I used to think, correctly, that every person involved on any level in politics was a creep or a stiff. That remains 99.999% true. Seriously, have you ever been to a political rally? Have you ever attended one of those rallies for presidential candidates? I went to a McCain rally, and I thought I was in a Depends Undergarment convention. Then I went to an Obama rally in a shopping mall, and I was surrounded by ten million shaved-headed emo children in pleather shorts, and they all smelled like patchouli and soup. And not a good kind of soup like french onion or cream of mushroom. No, more like vegetable beef or minestrone. YECH!

But every person that is involved in politics is not a soup-scented diaper person, is the thing. I attended a political rally this past Friday that was as different from lame as green is from purple. All by myself, utilizing organizational skills that I developed for my Five Times Better self-help programs, I put together a political rally for MY personal presidential candidate of choice, Pip Clowson.

Most people have political rallies in ludicrous locations, like the aforementioned shopping mall, or giant parking lots, or in airplane hangars, or the living rooms of fading TV stars, or Gout Cream Factories, or Wendy's Old Fashioned Hamburger Restaurants in midwestern Idaho. All of these places are okay for living and playing but as political rallying points--the equivalent of pouring gravy over vomit.

Well, Pip Clowson had his political rally in a bookstore, thanks to me. Yes, a place of learning and wisdom and romance and musty old worm stinks and knowledge. The bookstore has a tiny meeting room in the back up a winding metal staircase, and I reserved it for one hour and a half of Pip Clowson magic. We ate cupcakes, sipped ice cold water, and listened to Pip tell us everything we ever needed to hear from a future President. I can't even explain it all to you, people. It was all way over my head, but it had something to do with altering America and changing our money into trapezoids.

For the first time in my life, I have hope for the future.

Check out pipclowson.wordpress.com and join me for hope/change and alterations

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