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Tuesday, April 26, 2005

The worst product placement joke ever made.

Here we go again. Yet another consumer at a fast food establishment has grossed us out by finding some human skin in his Beef n' Cheddar or something. What's going on here people? Is Charlton Heston going to come running down the street yelling, "It's people. Jamocha shakes are made out of people." With that set-up done, I bring you the worst product placement joke ever made. I present to you, "Silence of the Lamb Kebabs".

As they approach Lecter's cell

Dr. Chilton: Do not touch the glass. Do not approach the glass. You pass him nothing but soft bites of onion petal - no sporks, no straws. No lids or spoons in his cups. Use the sliding food carrier only, no exceptions. If he attempts to pass you anything, do not accept it. Do you understand?

and later

Hannibal Lecter:Now then, tell me. What did Miggs say to you? Multiple Miggs in the next cell. He hissed at you. What did he say?

Clarice Starling: He said, "I can smell your cu-rly fries."

Hannibal Lecter: I see. I myself cannot. You used too much Horsey sauce on the Big Montana, and sometimes you open the ranch dressing too soon, but not today.

and even later

Hannibal Lecter: Good evening, Clarise. Did you bring my Happy Meal? I can see that you have taken the small toy dog for yourself.

Clarice Starling: You see a lot don't you doctor. Why don't you turn that high-powered perception at yourself and tell us what you see, or, maybe you're afraid to.

Hannibal Lecter: Have the lambs stopped screaming Clarice?

Clarice Starling: What?

Hannibal Lecter: I ordered a lamb kebab with tzatziki sauce from Fez's, where is it?

Clarice Starling: They were out of tzatziki sauce.

Hannibal Lecter: Then get me some KFC livers with fava beans and a nice chianti. <he makes that horribly irritating sucking sound with his teeth>

Clarice Starling: You know they don’t sell fava beans or chianti at KFC.

Hannibal Lecter: Ok, just get some mac and cheese and a Pepsi.<one more time with the sucking sound…ewwww it gives me the willies>

We hope it was as horrible as you expected. Thank you.


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