If we wanted to use more than 140 characters, we'd be writing more here.

Friday, April 22, 2005

Post 273 or Yahoo! Gets Earth Day Crazy (Yo Momma Version)

Let's try again. (Now I realize many of you are thinking, "Why didn't you just delete the previous post and start again from scratch instead of leaving it up there for all 12 of us to see? Isn't it a bit like the old line about sausage-making, that you don't really want to see how it gets done, you just want the delicious end product? Can't you just leave the editing and soul-searching behind the scenes?" although Zimpter is probably thinking, "This thing will be in turnaround by April 27th." Well, you're wrong, all 13 of you. We want to be transparent here, which is why we blog under pen names like Stew and Fando. Wait, that didn't make any sense. We don't want to be too transparent here. However, we do want you to see how we reach the relatively silly heights we do. We want you, the readers, all twelve of you, unless Next Blog sends us a really nice batch on a particular day, to understand the lengths we will go to make you laugh, before giving up and turning to really cheap jokes like:"Why did the horn players eat beans all the time? So they could toot on command." So you see, all this effort is really worth it or you'd spend your days reading really lame flatulence jokes all the time, or lawyer jokes like this one: "What's the difference between a lawyer and a school of piranha? The piranha will leave bones." Now do you see the tortured difference between this site and "joke" sites?!? Still no? Must we resort to the dreaded "Yo Momma is so [blank]" jokes? I thought not...)

OK, I was unavoidably distracted by the regular readership there...demanding lot that they are. One more try.

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For those who were curious:

1. Yo momma's so fat that, 10 minutes before she does aerobics, all the dogs in the neighborhood start howling.

2. Yo momma's so ugly that, when she was born, the doctor slapped the placenta by mistake.

3. Yo momma's so stupid, she thinks the Atkins diet consists of eating people named Atkins (less offensive alternate line: Atkins pickles)

4. Yo momma's so short, she has to stand on a stepladder to scratch her own bum.

All right, I'm done with that line of questioning for now M'Lord.

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