It's Oscars time. Somebody wake the Grouch.

Tuesday, April 19, 2005

Take the Challenge!!!

One of the most interesting games being played these days in the blogging world is the "questions" game, where people send around a list of questions regarding either personal preference or trivial knowledge, and other people respond to it on their blogs. In the spirit of this game, I hereby offer the follwing questions to my colleagues at DOUI, Misters Miller, Vega, and, soon to be joining us, Fiforg (Mister Jose was last seen herding cattle at a golf course.)

I have provided my own answers below gentlemen. Do your best, worst, whatever. Please give us your choice for the following. (Ed. note - Feel free to make up answers if they are funnier.) Readers may send their own answers to these questions to earlfando@yahoo.com. Really good responses will be reproduced on the DOUI, so as to limit the amount of work necessary for the rest of the week. Please indicate whether you wish for us to use your real name, and the level of abuse you wish to be subjected to in writing:

1. The most ridiculous thing you have ever uttered in front of a woman?
Earl's response: "If you want my body and you think I'm sexy, come on sugar let me know." (Oops, sorry, that was the most embarrassing thing Rod Stewart ever said to a woman.)

2. The international dictator you most resemble?
Earl's response: Trotsky, except without the glasses and about 20 pounds heavier. Oh, yeah, and I'm not currently sporting facial hair. If Jeff Lynne were a dictator instead of the creative force behind ELO, I'd have said him.

3. The most unfortunate name for a pope?
Earl's response: Pope Hilarius (Backup answers: Pope Sextus I, and Pope Coitus I)

4. Your favourite flavour of ice cream and why?
Earl's response: Egg and Bacon flavour... good heavens people, we're talking bacon! (Backup answer: Pork chop ripple)

5. Most annoying sport and why?
Earl's response: Polo. The only sport where some of the competitors defecate during the competition. (Note to HRH Prince Charles: I'm talking about the horses, mate.)

6. The most frightening scene in a movie?
Earl's response: Anything with Pauley Shore. His first scene always fills me with the same kind of dread other people got when the Alien popped out of John Hurt's stomach in Alien (but which I thought was smashing!)

7. Your favourite movie or TV animal and why?
Earl's response: Manimal, because this kind of hilarious stupidity is rare greatness. A man who can turn into to any animal in order to fight crime? Who needs Flipper or Lassie? (Backup answer: Alf)

8. The most embarrassing line from a 1960's American situation comedy theme song?
Earl's response: "Our Patty likes to rock and roll, a hot dog makes her lose control..." From The Patty Duke Show, 1963-1966

9. The most ridiculous plot twist in a film, ever?
Earl's response: Spock has a brother? Actually the most ridiculous twist is in Scherzo del Destino in Agguate Dietro l' Angolo Come un Brigante da Strada (Which strangely enough is Italian for Star Wars III: Revenge of the Sith) where director Lina Wertmuller expects us to believe that even someone as inept as a politician could become trapped in his own car for most of the film (and even more ridiculously expects us to believe that the enormous title of her film is somehow poetic and meaningful)... but how many of you have seen that?

10. If you were an alien, where would you be from?
Earl's response: Islington. (Backup answer: Ringoxicron, which you humans refer to as Antares, the seat of galactic power, the throne of the ancient interstellar kingdom of Mongopolis, the capital of the Wikipedia Federation, and the ancient repository of all scientific and humourous knowledge outside the planet Earth. You probably would have found that creepy though.)

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