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Monday, April 18, 2005

Don't Worry, Be Happy?

Fox News reports that happiness may be the key to better health. Apparently a recent study of British civil servants indicated that there was a correlation between happiness and good health.

In a related story to be released tomorrow, the British Happiness Association will report that people who are in good health tend to be much happier that the rest of us poor gits who have allergies, diseases, and other health issues. They will smile incessantly during the announcement, the smug bastards.

I mean, come on mates, healthy people would tend to be a bit happier, and you could point to good health as a legitimate reason for happiness. However, assuming from a study like this that your likelihood of acquiring, say jaundice or smallpox, might go down a bit, just because you're wearing a smile and are leaving your worries at the door, strikes me as being as daft as a duck wearing a jumper.

What's more, the advice offered is a trite, well...trite. For example:

"--Act happy...
--Focus beyond yourself.
--Appreciate what you have.
--Try keeping a gratitude journal of what you're thankful for..."

"Act happy"? I thought it was actual happiness that warded off disease and pestilence. I might as well "act" like I'm taking penecillin the next time I get a sinus infection. This just in... people in the acting profession are more likely to be healthy than non-actors because they can fool diseases into passing them by with a fake cheery smile and pretending to have a spring in their step.

Meanwhile, I'll be starting my "gratitude journal" tomorrow in the hopes that it will ward off the bubonic plague.

Also, what about those people who have awful mood swings? What will these scientists lead them to expect? "Feeling chipper one minute? Great! No worries about malaria or cholera! Getting the blues for just a moment? Your chance of contracting leprosy just tripled!" I imagine it's worse for those "acting" depressed or moody. No wonder actors think it's bad luck to bring up MacBeth.

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