More Fortunes

Now that we have Donald Trump's attention, allow me to present twenty of the worst fortune cookie fortunes you could ever hope to receive.

(Please note, that if you circulate this on the Internet, remember to give us credit and put a link to the blog. We're not expecting riches, we just crave worldwide fame. Is that too much to ask?)

Twenty Really Crappy Fortune Cookie Fortunes

20. A nice cake is waiting for you. (How did that get in there?)

19. Die, bastard scum.

18. Is that your chin, or are you wearing a woolen scarf?

17. You are a mass of quivering flatulence.

16. A bird in the hand will leave poop on your sleeve.

15. Klaatu Barada Nikto

14. Confucious say nothing...because he snuffed it.

13. I'm watching you.

12. A journey of a thousand miles was cancelled due to high oil prices.

11. Your mama writes fortune cookies.

10. Think of a number between 1 and 20,000...I guess 3!

9. Message on next fortune cookie.

8. Paul is Dead.

7. This fortune cookie was poisoned.

6. Avoid sunlight.

5. Visit http://unfortunateideas.blogspot.com (Just in case you loafing freeloaders forget!)

4. Daed si Luap. (see #8)

3. The kitchen staff here are completely naked.

2. Go Marshall Thundering Herd!!

1. I brake for fortune cookies.

I'm sure Stew, Juan Carlos, or Zimpter (a notorious sushi fiend) have some of their own. Gentlemen?