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Friday, September 16, 2005

Stew's on the move!

...Which is to say that he is moving into a new house today.

His new palatial digs will include an Olympic-sized swimming pool (with pictures of Johnny Weismuller painted on the sides), a massive parlour with a full wet bar and adjacent walk-in humidor, a 15 car garage for his collection of Hummers, a marble-floored dining and kitchen area, complete with a large freezer for his caviar and foie gras, a walk in wine cellar (all Mouton-Rothschild, the snob), 19 bedrooms, a golf lounge (with a place to hit and putt), a computer room with all the latest tracking software (so as to keep up with the blog), an art gallery (to hang all those Picassos currently rolled-up in his garage), a gym (complete with a full-time massuse named Helga), fourteen fountains on the grounds - three of which spout soft drinks, a small airfield with private plane (a Lear if you must know, although sometimes he flies the P-38), a boat dock for accessing the yacht (The S.S. Stew Magnificent China Washington Mountain - take that FONZ people!) and submarine, and underneath the house - a complete replica of the Batcave including easy access Batpoles and the Batmobile (it has a Hemi!) He has red Batphones too, but they go to me instead of Commissioner Gordon.

OK, I'm lying about all of that. Suffice to say, it's a large step beyond the mobile home he, his wife, and his 42 children live in now. How they all fit in that Yugo is beyond me.

OK, that's a lie too.

The real point is that he's occupied with moving today and, as I will be helping later this afternoon (after I get off my day job), posting might be curtailed a bit. I will try to add something this evening.



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