George W. Bush to Join U2

Bono, frontman for legendary rock band U2 met with President Bush at the White House yesterday. Ostensibly the meeting was to discuss poverty relief and combatting AIDS in Africa but sources reveal that Bono was also looking for a new member to spice up the band during their current world tour.

Reportedly Bono asked Bush if he would be willing to sing backup for the band. Bush reportedly answered that he had a gig for the next three years, but would be thrilled to sign on with the Dublin-based quartet after that.

Bush immediately sent an order to the Presidential tailor to design a set of full-length leather business suits for him. White House aides said that the President would expect to wear leather bodysuits and other traditional rock outfits while on tour with the band, but pointed out that he wants to "transition" into that mode slowly while still in office. A leather catsuit was also ordered for the First Lady.

Bono confirmed through a spokesman (named Ted) that if Bush came on board, there would also be room for Rumsfeld as a roadie or press agent. He also referred to Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice as "a really swinging babe who could hammer the keyboards for us."