It's Oscars time. Somebody wake the Grouch.

Friday, October 21, 2005

Stuck thumb in blackberry pie?!?!?

Techno-geekery hit another snag this year when some Blackberry users discovered that they were suffering from a new malady: Blackberry Thumb. MMMMM Blackberry Thumb!!!! Apparently, the infirmity involves the overuse of the thumb ligaments while typing bad jokes into your Blackberry so the guys back at the office can get a good laugh and think you're cool. The problem is that they still think you're a dork and are really laughing AT YOU and how lame you and your jokes are. Oh that, and the fact that your thumbs get all weak and crampy.

A similar sickness has affected those who listen to rapper Kanye West and his comments concerning conceived racism especially in regards to Hurricane Katrina and its aftermath. Alliteration aside, let's look at how this new disorder; Kanye Face Distortion or KFD, affects various people.



"We already realize a lot of people that could help are at war right now, fighting another way -- and they've given them permission to go down and shoot us!" - Kanye West



"George Bush doesn't care about Black people." - Kanye West



"Before you ask me to go get a job today/ Can I at least get a raise on the minimum wage/ And I know the government administered AIDS." - Kanye West lyrics to "Heard'em Say"



"How we stop the Black Panthers?, Ronald Reagan cooked up an answer." - Kanye West lyrics to "Crack Music".

(Actually I'm not sure this is a case of KFD)

"Who gave Saddam anthrax?/George Bush got the answers." - Kanye West lyrics to "Crack Music"

So as you can see, this is a disturbing malady which cripples the facial muscles and leaves the patient looking like he imbibed too much Glenfiddich the night before. Wait a minute... although that can't explain the baby. Oh well, just thought everyone should know and be careful what you listen to.

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