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Friday, November 18, 2005

When Terrorists Make Bad PR Decisions

Jordanian-born terrorist Abu Musab al-Zarqawi issued a communique today indicating that the suicide bombing at a Jordanian wedding last week was a mistake. He said that the bombers were actually targeting a hall where Israeli and American intelligence agents were supposed to be meeting.

Apparently we're supposed to believe that this idiot considers authentic Jordanian wedding party standard issue disguise for Israeli intelligence personnel. To complete his ridiculous illusion, al-Zarqawi added, "I defy the renegade government to show us the losses among the Jews." What a complete asshat.

Demonstrating an uncanny lack of talent for public relations, al-Zarqawi continued, adding that his group planned "to kill Jordan's King Abdullah II, and bomb more hotels and tourist sites." (The quote is from the AP article. Presumably al-Zarqawi would have said the whole thing in much more vividly graphic and violent prose.) That should quell Jordanians' desires to stuff al-Zarqawi into a matchbox...not.

Would it be overstating the obvious to point out that al-Zarqawi is a mass-murdering, devious, sadistic, lying sack of crap, with a block of ice for a heart, and the brains of a turnip?

His people blow up a wedding, kill innocent Jordanians (and at least one American), and then he says it's a mistake and they were really just trying to kill Israeli and American agents. Does he really believe that the citizens of Jordan are so stupid and overcome with prejudice (although that is an accurate description of al-Zarqawi of course) that they would drop their anger at him the moment he starts blathering about Zionists?

"Oh, Zionists...in that case, blow up all the wedding parties you want to Abu! My sister's getting married next week...could you send someone by?" ...Not bloody likely.

Fortunately, as we speak, I have no doubt there are several people in Jordan planning to separate al-Zarqawi from his overtaxed bean.

Al-Zarqawi did desperately add one more vuglar lie to his message. He said, addressing the Jordanian people, "We want to assure you that ... you are more beloved to us than ourselves."

If that was true, then I expect he'd have blown himself up by now, if only as a corrections policy.

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