It's Oscars time. Somebody wake the Grouch.

Saturday, January 07, 2006

Have you placed a nomination yet? What are you waiting for, next Christmas??

Just one of the 2006 reminders I've promised regarding the 2006 Bloggies. (I'm a bit behind on that number...I may need to cut it back to 2,000 even.) We'd appreciate your nomination in any category, but especially the "Most Humorous Blog", and the "Best New Blog".

Here are 2,006 reasons we think we deserve your nomination (Editor's note: There are only twelve. Earl can't count at all.):

12. Earl, Stew, Juan, and Zimpter form the acronym "ESJZ", and that spells "quality"! All right, it obviously doesn't, but it does almost spell "ESPN". I'm asking Juan and Zimpter to change their names to Poltrice and Nanook to complete the illusion.

11. DOUI has the great scent of fried bacon! You have to press your nose against the monitor to get the full effect.

10. If we get nominated, we'll recreate "The Full Monty" on the blog! (Just the opening credits though. You really don't want the end, which I actually haven't seen because it personaly disgusts me.)

9. Oprah's on!!! (Sorry, wrong list. This one's from 12 reasons Juan Carlos Vega has neglected to post in the last few months.)

8. Everytime you log on to us, Bill Gates feels a nervous shiver down his back.

7. Every 5th post has useful household hints in secret code. This explains some of our less funny posts.

6. What, you want Snarkette.com to get nominated instead of us?

5. Because Elvis said to!! (Now where'd I put that handwritten crayon note from that bloke in Terre Haute, Indiana who assured me he was Elvis? I had no idea Elvis was blonde.)

4. If you nominate us, Baskin and Robbins will add a 32nd flavor ("Unfortunate Ripple")!

3. It really chuffs off Donald Trump when we win awards... not that he's actually heard of us...yet.

2. Stew will shave his head and get a tattoo that reads "I love marmalade" if we win an award. That's not official yet, as I haven't told him.

1. For the good of mankind and world peace! C'mon people, don't you care about world peace?!?

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