R2-D2 said what?
Of course, with the Littlest Fando in the room, Fry and Laurie and Black Adder aren't going anywhere near the DVD player, lest our little one pick up all manner of colourful new phrases or suddenly ask us, "Beloved parents, what exactly is a 'codpiece?'"
Anyway, we were sitting there watching Star Wars for at least the 1,100th time this month, when I suddenly realized that for all these years people have taken for granted that R2-D2's electronic banter is harmless, innocuous chat. The premise is that someone, usually Luke or C-3PO, would say something, R2 would answer in his usual series of electronic chirps, whistles, and beeps, and everyone would giggle and think to themselves, "What a funny little robot!"
As it turns out, this particular view is a complete pile of robot crap.**
After doing a little research though, my sources*** have determined that R2-D2 was in fact voiced by none other than blue-streak comedian Redd Foxx. His original dialogue was, shall we say a bit saltier (like crispy bacon). It was taken out and replaced by the electronic sound effects once the studio realized that the MPAA was considering an "X" rating. The resulting edits got the film down to a "PG." It would have been a "G" rating if not for the size of Carrie Fisher's buns... in her hair I mean.
Anyway, I have procured a sample of some of the more printable portions of the original dialogue. I say dialogue because Mr. Foxx reportedly improvised frequently from Lucas' script. As this is a PG to PG-13 blog, the saucier portions have commented out through the use of traditonal symbology (%$#@&) or replaced with more acceptable euphemisms (in italics).
C-3PO: But sir, nobody worries about upsetting a droid.
C-3PO: Listen to them, they're dying, R2. Curse my metal body. I wasn't fast enough. It's all my fault. My poor master.
**********
**Polystyrene and titanium box-springs, if you must know.
*** C-3P0's My Life with That Vulgar Little Wastebin on Wheels: R2-D2, Hyperion, 1987; Carrie Fisher's R2 and Me, a Story of Wild Electronic Love and Emotional Disappointment, Random House, 1995, and Harrison Ford's R2 and Me 2, A Story of Even More Wild Electronic Love and Emotional Disappointment, Scholastic Press, 1997.
Labels: Black Adder, bottom, R2-D2, Redd Foxx
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