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Monday, April 30, 2007

April is like that

I hate to post another one of those "posting about posting" posts, but as there's been a dearth of posting around here lately, the subject seems harder to avoid than a pachyderm at a peanut festival.

April seems to be the month most likely to inspire the doldrums here at DOUI, at least based on the previous two years' experience. I'm not sure whether it's the occasional showers that accompany the month here in the States (what's wrong with a bit of dampness in the air, for heavens' sakes...you'd think it was the monsoon season or something the way people brandish their umbrellas) ... or perhaps the arrival of spring has so giddied the hearts of my fellow posters that they're spending all their time frolicing barefoot in their dewy gardens.

I realise that the previous two theories are somewhat contradictory, but when one is reaching for answers where the human psyche is concerned, one must occasionally make allowances. Freud certainly did, but he was as loony as a manufacturer of square footballs. I simply don't have a Jeeves about to work out the psychological aspects of my comrades in blogitude. Of course, Jeeves would just trick them into posting and then wryly confuse his employer into booking a South Seas cruise. Bertie Wooster would never pick up on it until it was far too late, and by that time he'd have found himself engaged to some daffy bird whilst simultaneously managing to make a mortal enemy of her father. I suppose it's better than hanging about the flat waiting for Aunt Agatha to drop in for the weekly beratement.

Yes, I have been reading a lot of Wodehouse these days. Why do you ask?

So the posting has been thin, my own contributions notwithstanding (yes, yes, I can hear all the "your contributions have been thin" jokes already, thank you so bloody much) and since my regular remonstrations have been about as effective as a Liberal Democrat television advert, I'm not sure what to do about it other than a severe campaign of ritual humiliation for the absentee posters. Ritual humiliation works better than simple name-calling, because the whole idea of a ritual is that it's something one can expect to be repeated over a relatively short period of time. Thus, the humiliation part becomes a constant menace to the individuals being denigrated. (Plus, how many times can you call someone a gormless twit before the sting wears off?)

So, if any of you out there have embarassing photos of Stew, Nuffy, or the rest of the crew, please forward them to earlfando@yahoo.com and I'll post them as quickly as possible... unless there are any posted objections from my co-contributors? Hmmm...?

If no one responds, then I shall simply have no recourse but Photoshop and my own imagination.


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