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Thursday, September 20, 2007

The Special One Says So Long to Stamford Bridge

All right, I was leaving Jorge's post up a bit to confirm that this is not, after all, a solo act (though a certain Mr. Miller could bother to post every month or so). However, the news that Chelsea coach Jose Mourinho has resigned/been sacked is too much to pass up.

As a Gooner, my first reaction1 was, "Well, that's good for Arsenal," because "The Special One's" slightly dour and pragmatic approach was also often effective.

My second reaction was, "(Chelsea owner) Roman Abromovich is the daftest nutter in football.2" He threw out a coach who'd won back to back titles on the basis of a follow-up second place and a reasonable start to the season. Obviously, he's thought he purchased Real Madrid instead of Chelsea. Barking mad expectations are normal in Madridbut long-time Chelsea fans, more use to qualifiying for the Inter-Toto Cup than the Champions League, thought they'd died and gone to heaven with the success of the past few years. They must be feeling a bit of the old purgatory right now.

My third reaction was, "How long will it take Real Madrid to throw over Bernd Schuster to bring Mourinho to the Bernabeu, even though Real lead the Spanish Primera with a perfect 3 wins in three starts?" (Answer: Real's first loss, which will be described as a "bitter disappointment requiring immediate change" by their effusive chairman Ramon Calderon.)

Lastly, for now, I wonder how long it will take Chelski to sink back into their traditional mid-table place, between Astin Villa and Blackburn. I give it a fortnight.

The way things are going, Chelsea's next coach might be Gordon Ramsay.

Well, Scottish coaches do well in the Premiership, and he'd certainly whip them in to shape. ("Get off your ******** **** Lampard and finish right! What a ******* disgrace you are Shevchenko!" "Joe Cole, don't you ******* know that a ******* fillet should be seared at ******* high heat over a ******* ******* open flame! etc...)

1. After suppressed laughter, of course. Had it been Spurs I would have just let it out. Spurs can have a bit of pride though. Who knew Martin Jol would outlast Mourinho? Most people thought Jol would have been on a flight to Groningen by now.

2. Especially now that Duncan Ferguson, Vinnie Jones, and Eric Cantona have retired.


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