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Sunday, May 03, 2009

Earl Fando's NBA Dream

I am officially declaring for the NBA draft. Stop laughing Stew.

What would make a 44 year old, shade under six feet-one inch, regular-football (soccer)-playing bloke with a so-so jump shot, a passable hook shot, and a vertical leap only slightly higher than a sumo wrestler's declare for the NBA draft? The NBA deserve me, that's why.

Mark Titus, an actual college basketball player, albeit a bench-warming one, declared for the draft as well ...and was promptly told by the NBA that he was not wanted. They didn't simply ignore the lad. They insisted that he rescind his declaration. I believe he was officially tut-tutted, too.

Apparently, Titus, an Ohio State player, has a long running blog that is - ahem - irreverent. This was too much for the NBA. "A walk-on, blogging, comical personality, daring to declare for our draft of millionaires-to-be? Preposterous! Give him his walking papers, Jeeves!"

Let's see what they make of me then.

I'll need a nickname. If I were a programmer, I'd call myself Earl "The Perl" Fando. "Fandolicious" might work. Earl "Low-Altitude" Fando? (Send suggestions to earlfando@yahoo.com)

In any case, I know I can take David "The Barrister" Stern one-on-one on the court. Bring it, Dave. I've got my A-game on.

I'm hoping Oklahoma City takes me in the third round. Frankly, they need the help.

Update: Apparently, the NBA just doesn't like bloggers. Curtis Heroman, an LSU student who never played college ball, has applied and the NBA hasn't made a peep. Hypocrites.

Update II: Apparently, there's a LOT of paperwork involved. Just like the man to throw the bureaucracy in my way.

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