It's Oscars time. Somebody wake the Grouch.

Wednesday, January 26, 2005

Academy of Lies

Since Mr. Fando bring up about the Oscar awards, please let me speak on this subject just for a couple of the paragraphs. You see, I can speak on it as one who is on the inside of this business, for as you perhaps are well knowledged I am Jorge Carlito Viejo, president and founder of Waste of Time Productions. Over the course of almost half a decade of cinematic discovery I produce many, many films in a variety of categories including the funny laugh type and the more serious one where there is the dying person and peoples are cry to see it. We produce six volumes of masterworks collection called Award Winning Cinema, Volumes I through VI, plus also the final volume call Award Losing Cinema of the movie I was reluctant to release to the public but did so in order to clean out the vault. Some of you never seen any of the fine film contain in the seven volume of movies produced by W.O.T. Productions, and that is most definite the shame of yours to bear. Also, most important, the Academy of Oscar Awards never once see any of this movies I make or even one time nominate in a single category including the best costume or sound effects editing which so richly we deserved. This is why to me is become the farce this Academy, when they say, "Oh, we love this movie the Sideways where the old mens are drive around and drink wine and be so very, very sarcastic. That one special fine for award. And, oh, ring the gong of excitement for here is this movie One Million Dollars Baby about lady who act like man to hit the other lady. It so very extra nice with really, really wrinkle old Clint Eastwood look like mummy walk around be severe. Or the Aviator one so special my Depends tear open, for it have the man what drownded in the big boat and now he live to fly the airplane. Give to him every award known to mankind history." Well, what about my excellent film, Academy of Lies?! Shall I do the refreshment of memory?

"Lost Brother" a daunting tale starring Ian R. as the one who think he lost his brother played by Andy M. but who brother is really the evil servant of Meheki-Leki play by me. Most great acting in this one. Surely a Best Actor nod for Ian when he cry and also dance and be mad all in one film.

"Vitamin D" in which a man name Kenny B. play a man who eating sugar to get his vitamin D when his wife play by the Sara H. ignore him and another lady name Jessica T. pay $25 to have him gassed. Could it win for best adapted screenplay from the unpublished novel by Juan C. V. yes it could.

"The Three Fugees" is like the better version of three stooges where Vince S. play Larry with no personality and pet iguani whilst the Ian R. play angry Moe-like person who hitting everyone, Kenny B. as Shemp like man who get hated for no reason, and Smiggy B. play the Curly style person with weird noise come out of mouth and lots of falling down. This one should win for best Stuntwork. Do they have that category?

"Elmore Rabibo and his Lonely Circle of Strange Friends" starring Mr. James P. as a great big nerd who throw a party and invite many other nerd. Then he send them off in pairs to find the golden cupcake, but really it is the trap and all perish in creative ways. Only Smiggy B. survives and draw on chalkboard with James P. Good powerhouse performance over that one guy in Aviator who drowned on big ship while lady float on door.

Consider the dark dead end alley road you are crashing down frontwards, Academy, for at the end the wall you will hit is the wall of hypocrisy. Many good company making excellent quality A level film all over the world without Hollywood help. Yes, i was one before I go broke and drive the bus for a living.

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