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Monday, January 24, 2005

"Blue" hoo who??!?!?!

What!!!!! Blue!!!!! Next you'll tell me a band called Green Day has a chance at the Grammy's. I've done a little checking into this "boy band" and found some startling inconsistencies. First of all they could hardly be called a "boy band" since three are in their fifties and the fourth is not actually a boy, if you get my drift. Secondly, and most startling, the four of them don't write their music and can't really play any instruments. OK, that was too startling but boils my goats milk to think these buffoons could upstage U2 at any awards presentation.

I furthered my research by going to the lyrical archives of this quartet to see what kind of song could beat the likes of "Sometimes You Can't Make It On Your Own". Here is just a sampling of the detestable sludge that these pretenders heap on the public:

Girl, You're my Girl, Girl
performed by Blue
Lyrics by Snazzy Snax

Girl... you're my girl, girl
Give it a whirl girl
You are my
worl.....d,
Girl

Girl... you're my girl, girl
Hat like Minnie
Pearl girl
Eat a nut like a squirrel
Girl

Chorus:
Girl, oh
girl of girls are you
Make me some fondue, oo, oo,
While I perform some
magic too oo
Which way to the loo oo oo oo oo oo oo?

Pretty heady stuff from our middle-age rocksters there, I don't think I've heard lyrics like that since N-Sync's last. Here's another little gem:


Sweet Potato Pie
performed by Blue
Lyrics by Dizzy Dizz

Girl,
you're like sweet potato pie
You make me want to die, 'ie
And when I
taste the fillin'
You know we all be chillin', 'in

Chorus:
Sweet potato pie
don't get it in your eye
Good source of beta carotene
Don't forget to use your Listerine, 'ine, 'ine, 'ine, 'ine

Utter hog swill. But that must be what passes for music in the land of croissants and baguettes these days.

Check out the picture here, it speaks volumes.

****RIP - Johnny
****You were a pioneer

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