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Saturday, January 22, 2005

DeVito, Shore, Frodo, Smeagol

I distinctly remember describing hobbits in an earlier post as "tiny, testosterone enhanced Vulcans" and here comes Senor Vega to deftly (if obtusely) challenge my thesis. I must admit that Juan Carlos has, in his usual idiosyncratic, garbled-yet-highly expressive mode of correspondence, captured a central flaw in my precious...ahem, previous reasoning.

Clearly Mr. DeVito (Italian for "of Vitamins") is as close to hobbit as we can come. Small of stature, and despite a distinguished bald spot, as hairy as Robin Williams on a Rogaine I.V., Mr. DeVito has "hobbit" written all over him. However, Mr. DeVito is the furthest thing from Vulcan that I can think of. Danny DeVito is the anti-Vulcan. I can easily imagine him getting along well with McCoy and driving Mr. Spock completely mad, to the point where he is sitting around in Roman garb, playing soft, sappy music on the harp with lyrics that almost certainly have to the be uncredited work of Rod McKuen.

Also, Mr. DeVito's ears are not pointy like a Vulcan's. I realize that hobbits' ears are pointy. You can't have everything in life. Clearly he's had them done.

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