It's Oscars time. Somebody wake the Grouch.

Saturday, January 22, 2005

Jorge Carlito to the Rescue

So I was a sitting there in my chair with the overstuffed pillow under butt, eating an empanada de carne and considering all of that which is so terrible wrong with the corporation of Hollywood. I have the laundry list I could put, like the phony pretend actor special effect ostrich egg Danny Devito, or the terrible bad writing of the movie where nobody is speaking like the normal person, or romantic movies where ugly people getting to kiss the pretty person which never happened in the real life except maybe for the one Fando talked too much about called Mr. Trump. So then a thought spring into my head. It go like this: SPROING!!! And I say to myself, "Jorge Carlito, brother man, you need to write your own movie script and make your own quality high value movie." So after eight hour of writing, here is what I come up with.

INT -- CAFE -- DAY

Fernando is eating empanada de carne at small table, sitting across from shadowy figure named Jorge Vargas.

Fernando -- This time we will not fail to destroy the evil person.

Jorge -- Yes, Fernando, I have the big gun for to shoot him before he steals more neighborhood dogs and cats to eat them.

Fernando -- Be careful out there, Jorge. It is the jungle.

Jorge -- I am always careful. That is why gun so big.

Jorge exits cafe. Fernando drinks coffee.

Fernando -- Oh, no, Jorge poisoned coffee. He was the double agent. Ack!

Fernando die.

Anyway, that is all I have written so far. But I think it could be far above whatever is coming to the local cinema near to you. It will not have any Danny Devito style pretend actors in it but rather real person like David Hasselhoff and Pamela Anderson Lee and guest star Mr. Jack Nicholson as Jorge. I think I could be the save of Hollywood. What you think?

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