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Monday, April 04, 2005

Hotman? Notman! (With apologies to Gene Shalit)

This Japanese TV series simply doesn't live up to it's name. Hotman? Not according to the series description. Therefore, in the interest of righting this terrible wrong (and because I'm bored with American and British TV tonight), I have taken the liberty of re-writing the blurb, in order to make Hotman truly Hotman.

(Producers at KIKU-TV in Oahu can reach me at my address on the DOUI front page, should you want me to spice up summaries of your other programming, such as Hagure Keiji 17, Karada Genkika, Women on the Onsen, Classic Abarenbo Shogun, and TBS Sunday Morning (which is apparently not the story of Ted Turner's sudden and amazing transformation into a giant Shogun Warrior Transformer...although with me writing, it most certainly would be!)


HOT MAN (Hotto Man...no seriously!)

Sorimachi Takashi stars as Enzo, the head of a household consisting of himself and his four younger siblings, all of whom are radioactive mutants capable of destroying the world with a single toothpick. Each sibling has a different radioactive father, except for the twins, who were cloned from winged alien dinosaurs.

Enzo, who supports his family working as a high school art teacher, is in reality the famous and most honorable Hotman!™, a superhero whose powers consist of super-strength, super-speed, and the super ability to make any chick do his bidding, even Cher.

He has his life turned upside-down when 5-year-old Nanami (Yamauchi Nana) is abandoned on his doorstep with a note claiming that he is her father (because although he can get any chick to do his bidding, he's an absolute idiot when it comes to birth control.) Enzo accepts that possibility, knowing he is a birth control simpleton, but he has no idea who her mother is, or even what planet she may be from.

Nanami suffers from a severe skin disorder that Enzo attributes to his sorry younger days, when he had super-acne. He switches his whole family over to a natural food diet, in order to help Nanami wind up less spotty. He is so determined to raise his daughter well, that he seems to have no time for a love life anymore, but he finds himself being drawn to Misuzu (Yada Akiko), a fellow teacher and her twelve sisters, all named Miyoko (The Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders).

Little does he know that Misuzu is in fact an alien she-devil bent on conquering the world, one simpleminded superhero at a time. Amazingly they fall in love and, together with his siblings, the twelve Miyokos, and Nanami, who turns out to be one half of famed Japanese rock stars Hi Hi Puffy Amiyumi, they travel to the twelfth dimension, also known as Utah, where 13 wives, 12 of which have the same name, while not legal, are overlooked by the local legal authorities.


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