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Friday, April 01, 2005

We're fools 24/7 365!!!!!!!!!!!!

Instead of pulling off some elaborate April Fools Day joke, let’s just stick with the propensity for citing oddball musicians the website has taken on lately. With that in mind I give you, April Fools, the Bon Jovi, Toto, and Prince cover band from the Netherlands, or is that The Netherlands. I guess you have to say The Netherlands or you might confuse people into thinking you are talking about any old Netherlands. But I digress. What struck me as interesting, besides the fact that they cover songs from three such divergent groups, was the intro to their website: April Fools, Rock and More. Well, curiosity got the best of me so I set up a phone interview with the band to find out about them and what “More” was all about.


Stew: Good evening guys, what time is it there?

Silvan: Het is drie, oh I’m sorry, it is three in the morning, vee are very tired from playing concert in Amsterdam met Glamour Hosen who are the Billy Idol, Bobby McFerrin, and Roy Clark cover band.

Stew: Sorry guys, please tell me a little about yourselves.

Roger: Stew, we are a group of Dutch youth who have awakened to the power of Rock to bring peace to the world. Our sets include many Bon Jovi, Toto, and Prince songs peppered with those of Van Dik Hout our own home chunk brother. We feel if everyone would just listen to the lyrics we could all live in peace and harmony.

Stew: Sounds interesting, how much demand is there in Holland for a Bon Jovi, Toto, and Prince cover band?

Pascal: Oh, we are very popular, especially met de girls if you know what I mean. [laughter]

Maurice: Don’t listen to him, he is only making the jokes and he is impotent.

Stew: Pardon me?

Maurice: (to group) Hoe zegt u erectiele dysfunctie? [Illegible] I mean his mind is like that of a seven year old.

Stew: Pascal, we understand that your last name was not originally Art, that you changed it.

Pascal: Dat is mijn naam.

Stew: We have it on good authority that your name was actually Pascal Kippenvoeler. Is that right?

Pascal: Ja.

Silvan: Ja, he changed it due to the fact that he comes from a family of poultry molesters, the name means “chicken feeler”. It is very hard for him to live down.

Stew: I’m sorry I brought it up. What does it mean on your website when it says “Rock and More”?

Maurice: Spreading peace through rock is a very demanding business especially for a Bon Jovi, Toto, and Prince cover band. The “more” is our way of letting booking agents know that we can arrive at our gig, set-up, paint the venue, do any odd maintenance, sell tickets, remove rubbish, clean the venue post concert, and help park cars when necessary.

Stew: You do all of that? Do you have time for music?

Silvan: It is difficult but we can usually work a few songs in between shining shoes and waxing the floors. I sometimes think the only thing that keeps us going is our love for the music and our volunteering for medical experimentation. It is our shame and our badge of honor.

Pascal: I can’t feel my legs!!

Roger: Hold on Pascal, take the injection.

Stew: Maybe we can just leave it at that, I don’t want to keep you guys up any longer. We haven’t heard from Don Mulders though. Don, do you have anything you would like to elaborate on?

Don: Moooooooo, Eeeeh Aaaaah!!!!!!!!!!

Maurice: Forgive him, his is…hoe zegt… a satyr. The hormones were too strong but he has lost the tail so we have hope.

End transcript

Rock on, April Fools, wherever you are and in whatever form, man or beast, you have taken.


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