Life, Liberty, and Hissing like a Gila Monster

CNN reports that the FDA has just approved a new diabetes drug based on the saliva of the Gila Monster. The most common side effect is nausea, which generally occurs after patients find out that they've just been injected with the saliva of a Gila Monster.

There is no truth to the rumours, started here, that other side effects include a forked tongue, scaly skin, and sudden cravings for freshly killed rats.

Also, after checking, we have been assured that the key ingredient of the new drug is NOT obtained by french-kissing Gila Monsters. We realize that may be a disappointment to some of you who might have considered that as a career move.

Also, for those of you considering it, a "Kiss a Gila Monster" charity drive is strongly discouraged, as Gila Monsters are in fact quite poisonous.