Prince Harry: A positive, Royal positive

Those wacky royals and the tabloids are at it again. Now comes the revelation that Harry was given a blood test to determine if he was Prince Charles’ son or the seed of one of Diana’s lovers. Speaking of seedy, it all seems that way to me and the fact that poor Diana has past and can’t defend herself makes it all the lower. Part of the article caught my eye though: Diana, who died in 1997, did not tell Harry why his blood was being taken, The Sun newspaper said in extracts from a book Simone Simmons, an “energy healer” billed as a former close friend and confidante of the princess. I’m not sure what this energy healer had to do with Prince Harry’s blood so I wanted to find out. It was very tough to get but I finally secured an interview with Harry’s energy field last night.

Stew: Energy, or should I call you Mr. Field?

Harry’s Energy Field: Just call me Sparky.

Stew: Very well. Sparky, what can you tell us about yourself?

Sparky: Stew, I’m basically some sort of essence thing that binds us all together, yada, yada, yada. Did you see Star Wars?

Stew: So you are saying you are like the “Force” then?

Sparky: Whatever floats your boat.

Stew: Tell us about Simone Simmons, did she ever attempt to heal you?

Sparky: Never met the chick, I don’t hang around with fruitcakes. Unless, you’re talking about Harry’s entourage, there are a couple of chicks from Soho I’m not so sure about.

Stew: Tell us about life as Harry’s energy field.

Sparky: Well, it ain’t a bad gig, I used to get to sleep in but now that he’s at Sandhurst that has been cut off. Can’t say much else, just your normal energy field stuff… I used to get to pick out his costumes when he went to fancy dress parties.

Stew: But that stopped after the Nazi uniform incident?

Sparky: Hey, he looked good in that uniform. How was I supposed to know it was a Nazi uniform, I’m a flippin’ energy field, what do I know about history.

Stew: How is life at Sandhurst treating you guys?

Sparky: Remember the uniform incident we just talked about. Let’s just say that a few graduates of Sandhurst fought against those same guys. I’ve had to smooth it over with a few energy fields. Maybe that Simone bird could “heal” a few of them, you got her number?