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Saturday, June 25, 2005

Amandla!

People are always talking about how this celebrity's sad devotion to his strange religious belief are making him act the, how you going to say, nutball crazy loon-loon weird weird funny times man guy, right? He have the public meltdown on the Sally Finty Gorphael show in Oxygen Network and pump the fist in air and jump on chair, screaming, the hairs going in fourteen diff'rent directions and the nose crinkling. Yes, he get squirted with a sour cream gun at the premiere of his fabulous autobiographical movie premiere (the movie where he is played by that guy from the mall who got himself the, how you going to say, free ice cream and t-shirt to play him). He dancing on 42nd Street and throwing dimes at police horses and sewer dogs. Yes, he just generally going crazy. Also, he getted engaged to a fine ripe watermelon he buy at the Kroger and painted the face on it with the acrylic paint so it look like a super hot version of the Phyllis Diller. It is all attributable to his strange religious beliefs. Yes, you know who am talking about I, right? Correct. The Danny Devito, of course. And, yes, just like Harvey Keitel and Moxie Carbindle and Loosie Fhlapp and Obersturmbannf├╝hrer Cranston Klausenheimer, he have joined the new celebrity religion craze which is called the Breatharianism. I would link you to a web site about this strange new belief system, but I fear you will be suck into it's lies and, like Devito egg, will begin not to eat but to absorb prana out of the ether waves instead, and you will go to visit the Breatharian Celebrity Center in San Mateo, where they give liniment neck rubs and salad fork foot intensings to make the prana absorb faster. Don't do it! Even if it is true that the croutons are extra garlicy and crunchy there, they are telling the, how you going to say, lies! LIES! LIES! I never want you to see it. I will never post a link! Never! NEVER! Actually, yes, I will. Ding!

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