The Apprentice, Episode II: Martha Strikes Back

Stew is certainly keeping me busy this week. Allow me to add some suggestions for Martha Stewart's version of Donald Trump's "You're fired!" as she takes over the coiffure-challenged businessman's freaky human resources gig:

10. "Depart from mine presence yon excrementally pathetic loser!"

9. "Apprentice? I wouldn't let you make doilies for me!"

8. "Where'd I put my shiv?"

7. "Leggo of my Eggo!"

6. "You've been traded to Best Buy."

5. "I've given you up to the feds."

4. "I'm having you neutered."

3. "Kiss my grits!"

2. "Vous êtes mis le feu !" ("You're fired!" in French.)

1. "It's not a good thing."