It's Oscars time. Somebody wake the Grouch.

Tuesday, June 21, 2005

Greatest Film Quotes of All Time? Ha!

Tonight on CBS, the American Film Institute, as a warm up to their fĂȘte for George Lucas on Saturday (Entitled From Bald Robert Duvall in THX1138 to C3PO in the Star Wars Sextology: The Cranial Cinema of George Lucas) has presented their list of the Greatest 100 lines from 100 Years of Cinema. This despite the fact that the earliest quote is from the beginning of the sound era, in 1927. (Brilliant title, lads.) I guess quips don't have the same impact on silent film titles as they do with audio.

Anyway, I'm positive they missed some of the truly great and memorable lines, and I've done my bit to list a top twenty of my own below. Compare and contrast them with AFI's list (Update: The top 100 quotes are now available here. They weren't when I posted originally. Here are the 400 quotes they chose from.) :

1. "Arrgghh, Chief...I'm bitten in half, just like a stale Kit Kat bar!" - Robert Shaw, Jaws

2. "I got your Good Ship Lollipop right here, you %&$#!!" - Shirley Temple, Bright Eyes

3. "Supercalifragilisticexpealidosious!" - Michael Palin, A Fish Called Wanda

4. "Do you feel lucky, punk? Well, do you? Hey, where'd you get that uzi? Aaaaggghh!!!!" - Clint Eastwood, Dirty Harry

5. "Sometimes, I just want to cry into my pillow and then eat a gallon of fudge ripple ice cream." - Russell Crowe, Gladiator

6. "One of these days, I'm just going to go buck nutty and waste a bunch of these creeps!" - Katherine Hepburn, On Golden Pond

7. "No, you're chasing the chicken because I'm hungry! I haven't eaten a good meal in the three weeks I been training you, ya welching bum!" - Burgess Meredith, Rocky

8. "For the last time, this is my natural hair color dammit!" - Halle Berry, X-Men

9. "Quite honestly, Kant's Categorical Imperative is simply a pretentious attempt to incorporate the ethical onotological foundations of religiousity without the metaphysical apriori reasoning...pass me a bonbon, hon." - Marilyn Monroe, The Seven Year Itch

10. "It is not the dark side, fear I no...it is this deep possession of my soul, yes, by a monster named Grover, furry he is!" - Yoda, Star Wars: Episode Something or other (Does it really matter?)

11. "I'm tired of dressing up as a bat. Why can't I just go out one night dressed as Homer Simpson and fight crime that way?" - Val Kilmer, Batman Forever

12. "Hulk Smash!!!" - Woody Allen, Hannah and Her Sisters

13. "From what I can see, you need a complete catastrophic insurance plan as well as life and homeowners insurance. I think that will address your needs better than a murder plot and some silly dalliance with an old insurance guy like me" - Fred MacMurray, Double Indemnity

14. "I was gonna make him an offer he couldn't refuse, but I decided to make him a Bundt cake instead. Angel Food...he's gonna love it!" - Marlon Brando, The Godfather

15. "Sometimes, I just wanna wrestle women in the mud and mire." - Tony Randall, The Odd Couple

16. "Gort, Klaatu Barada...what was that last word? Niko? Nike? Noogie? AAAAAAGGGHHH!!!!" - Patricia Neal, The Day the Earth Stood Still

17. "Frankly, these lifts don't do anything for me... and how am I supposed to accessorize for these bolts?" - Boris Karloff, Frankenstein

18. "They call me Mr. Tengszuolianderfraffengill III, heir to the Dutchy of Northumbria!" - Sidney Poitier, In the Heat of the Night

19. "Me love you long time!" - Margaret Dumont, A Day at the Races

20. "I'm wet, I'm hysterical, and I'm in pain!" - Gene Kelly, Singin' in the Rain

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