It's Oscars time. Somebody wake the Grouch.

Tuesday, June 21, 2005

The Lord of the Sing(er)s

Summary of The Fellowship of those that Sings

Down the street from Middle Earth lived a singer named Bono Baggins. He was very famous in the Shire as a vocalist of renown and the wealthiest of Hobbits. Bono went to see his friend, Geldof the wizard, who he knew could help him round up a fellowship of singers to defeat the evils of third world debt.

Geldof the wise enlisted the help of many various orcs, humans, elves, and Madonna to ring out their voices in the cause of justice. However, Geldof the White was criticized for not making the fellowship properly hued, because apparently jaundice doesn’t count. So, with much haste did Geldof employ the talents of Sir Big Willy from Philly to rouse the hip-hop and R&B Ents from their slumber to come to the aid of his massive ego.

Geldof the White then made his way to various cities in Middle Earth to raise awareness of the plight of those in third worldly places even going so far as to antagonize the Pope with a cry of “I don’t want a picture, I want him to come to Edinburgh.” Geldof now summons the fellowship and everyone else who doesn’t have a day job; to the crash the gates of the evil tower of the G8 and demand that they wipe out debt so that it will never again burden the land.

Let’s hope and pray that Geldof, Bono, and Branjelina have as much success as is humanly possible in their venture.

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