It's Oscars time. Somebody wake the Grouch.

Saturday, September 03, 2005

A New Way to Make Money in the Housing Market!

Whilst checking my e-mail yesterday, I came across this gem of a message:


"Dear HomeOwner,
After completing the review we are pleased to offer
you the following,
Your current mortgage qualifies you for more than a 3%
lower rate!
----------------------------
----------------------------
!! U.S MORTGAGE RATES HAVE NEVER BEEN LOWER! !!
----------------------------
----------------------------"


Wow! This is exciting news, because I was also listening to the radio recently and heard an ad promising only a 1% mortgage loan rate. I immediately send the following message back to the e-mail lender:


"Dear E-mail Mortgage Spammer,


I am THRILLED to have recieved your message!!!!!!! I recently arranged for a 1% mortgage and now find out that I can get a mortgage from you that is 3% lower!!!!!!! This means that my mortgage from you would be -2%!!!!!!!!!!!!(ad infinitum on the exclamation points) I can actually make money on the deal!!!


Can I immediately take out a loan of $1,000,000,000. At these rates, within 30 years I will be worth the gross domestic product of the European Union (not counting Ireland, who's economy is growing like the shamrocks in my back yard!!!!)


I can't wait to get my negative 2% mortgage started and buy a house the size of Greenland. Thanks for making it happen, you wonderful, gullible, math-challenged loonies!!!!!!!!


Sincerely,


Earl Fando
Humorist soon to be worth billions"

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