If we wanted to use more than 140 characters, we'd be writing more here.

Saturday, September 03, 2005

A New Way to Make Money in the Housing Market!

Whilst checking my e-mail yesterday, I came across this gem of a message:

"Dear HomeOwner,
After completing the review we are pleased to offer
you the following,
Your current mortgage qualifies you for more than a 3%
lower rate!

Wow! This is exciting news, because I was also listening to the radio recently and heard an ad promising only a 1% mortgage loan rate. I immediately send the following message back to the e-mail lender:

"Dear E-mail Mortgage Spammer,

I am THRILLED to have recieved your message!!!!!!! I recently arranged for a 1% mortgage and now find out that I can get a mortgage from you that is 3% lower!!!!!!! This means that my mortgage from you would be -2%!!!!!!!!!!!!(ad infinitum on the exclamation points) I can actually make money on the deal!!!

Can I immediately take out a loan of $1,000,000,000. At these rates, within 30 years I will be worth the gross domestic product of the European Union (not counting Ireland, who's economy is growing like the shamrocks in my back yard!!!!)

I can't wait to get my negative 2% mortgage started and buy a house the size of Greenland. Thanks for making it happen, you wonderful, gullible, math-challenged loonies!!!!!!!!


Earl Fando
Humorist soon to be worth billions"


Post a Comment

<< Home