It's Oscars time. Somebody wake the Grouch.

Wednesday, October 05, 2005

It's a Bird! It's a Plane! It's...Nick Cage's son?

Nicolas Cage and his wife Alice have named their newborn son Kal-El. No, they aren't converting to Islam; the name Kal-El is actually the birthname of one Clark Kent, better known to the world as Superman.

I have this picture of them in my mind. They're looking through Webster's Big Book of Baby Names and suddenly:

Nick: Ooooh, here's a cool one. "Kal-El"

Alice: What's the background?

Nick: It's Kryptonian.

Both: OOOOOOOOHHHHHH!!!!

Alice: (suddenly confused) Wait a minute. Where's Krypton? Is that near Krygystan?

Nick: No honey, it's another planet.

Alice: (smiles) Just like his father.

Nick: The book says the name means "Sent off in a rocketship just before the planet explodes." Let's hope it doesn't come to that.

(General all around laughter and bong rattling)

Of course, what I'm really looking forward to is the transcript of the eventual "birds and bees" conversation:

Nick: Kal-El, you must always use your powers for good, to help mankind and promote Elvis. One more thing - It is completely forbidden for you to change history...even if you knock some chick up.

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