It's Oscars time. Somebody wake the Grouch.

Thursday, February 09, 2006

Grammy Surprises!!

According to the Associated Press, via Yahoo! (Exclamation point optional if accessing Yahoo! via Google in China), the 48th Grammy Awards, celebrating the music industry's, well... stuff they want to celebrate, were full of surprises.

I'm very happy to hear about my favourite band U2 winning 5 Grammys, but I think the AP missed out on some of the real surprises at the Grammys:

  • The Awards ceremony was reduced to only 150 awards from last year's 47,000 (FYI - I just missed out on Best Spoken Order at A Red Lobster's: Humor Category - I got beat by Louie Anderson). Even so, they still only got the programme done on time by handing out all the non-rock, pop, and rap awards from a UPS van on Wiltshire Blvd. (Zimpter, did you manage to bag one?)
  • One of Kanye West's three awards was for "Best Bush Quip". Presumably, this was a reference to the President. (Hey, it's the Grammys, not the Dove Awards.)
  • Who knew Dick Cheney was a member of Green Day?
  • Madonna came dressed as Olga Korbut. She scored a perfect 10 on the "floor exercise." (Reminder: Grammys, not Doves)
  • The incidental music was conducted by Kirstie Alley.
  • Beyonce Knowles only performed 12 songs.
  • Burt Bacharach won a Grammy. Burt Bacharach? Apparently, someone was fiddling around with the time machine from the Austin Powers movies and what do you know...the bloody thing works!
  • Burt Bacharach's children are adolescents. Burt himself is 104 years old.
  • Someone wore a tuxedo. This caused no fewer than 3 heart attacks and at least 7 LSD flashbacks.
  • Bono made only 4 appeals for important causes, one of which was re-igniting Bob Geldof's musical career.
  • Terri Hatcher wore her nightgown to the show by mistake.
  • Destiny's Child took a day off from their Breaking Up the Group World Tour to present awards. There were no fistfights, but at least one cat hiss was picked up by the network microphones.
  • Surprise Host: George W. Bush. He did mispronounce Kanye West's first name, but I suspect it was on purpose, since he pronounced it "Krappy".

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