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Tuesday, July 11, 2006

The Fever Has Subsided...

...World Cup Fever that is.

The cure was not a victory by Italy, though we congratulate the Azzuri on their success, regardless of the Golden Bear acting prizes they might have deserved on the way.

The cure was not Zinadine Zidane's temporary insanity in head-butting Italian defender Materazzi (Whom American non-fans of soccer are even now referring to as Maserati, as in, "Did you hear how that crazy French player Zadine head butted a Maserati? Those foreign goobers don't know real sports like baseball and football! Now, pass me my creatine and steroid milkshake, will you?"). No, Zizou's lunacy in giving the Italian just what he wanted (Why else would an Italian defender of mediocre reputation suggest that one of the world's greatest players mothers was a terrorist prostitute to said player's face?) by striking him was disheartening, but not completely unexpected from a fellow who was sent off and suspended for 2 games in 1998 for stomping on a Saudi Arabian. The only thing that might have surprised us is if Zidane had turned to Wayne Rooney and said in Darth Vader's voice: "Wayne, I am your father!"

No, the cure is that it's over. There's no point in keeping the fever alight when all the matches are done.

Many people are saying that this World Cup was relatively disappointing on the playing field, with all the cynical diving and "simulation" (Referring to players who, after getting grased on the toe, grab their faces and writhe around as though someone had just maced them). That's a fair point.

However, it was rather thrilling to see waves of Germans, happily celebrating something other than Hitler's staff car arriving at Nuremburg. The Germans earned their day in the sun, despite the shady way in which the World Cup arrived at Germany (When an New Zealand representative of the Oceania confederation declined to vote as instructed for South Africa, later saying that he did so because of the enormous pressures on him to vote for Germany, forgetting that his vote was supposed to have already been decided for South Africa and that by decling to vote, he paved the way for the German victory... He of course completely denied being bought off and FIFA duly conducted their usual in-depth examination of the whole affair, which I suspect is to say that everyone had a Cuban cigar and said, "What a shame." This was likely followed by the ritual glass of Sherry, followed by the surreptitious shot of Cognac, and then everyone went home to their mistresses. I'm just guessing though.)

Where was I? Ah yes, despite the extremely shady way in which Germany was awarded the Cup, the Organizers and fans made it a splended experience, even for us viewers back here in the States. The fans waved flags, happily greeted everyone with smiles and copious amounts of lager, and most everyone, except Cristiano Ronaldo, had a good time.

Now, I'm working on a good case of World Cup 2010 Fever. I've already got the early symptoms: Wondering how much tickets to South Africa are and whether Freddy Adu will play midfielder or striker for the Americans.


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