It's Oscars time. Somebody wake the Grouch.

Wednesday, July 05, 2006

Viagra for Missiles?

North Korea launched several missles yesterday in a large scale test to demostrate that they are still ahead of Iran as the number one crackpot dictatorship on the planet. Iran responded by acknowledging that they don't have the missiles to compete with the Democratic People's Republic of Kim Jong Il, but promised to fling several suicide bombers into the Persian Gulf as a demonstration that they can keep up with the Jongses.

Meanwhile, the missiles launched by North Korea all fell harmlessly into the Sea of Japan. "Harmlessly" means that they only killed large numbers of fish. The largest of the missiles, a "Taepodong-2" (translated: "The woeful manhood of our Glorious Leader, the son of our much more virile original dictator"), only stayed aloft for 35 seconds, which, according to reports, is 15 seconds longer than Kim Jong Il has ever managed.

After the failed tests, plans are to rename the missile (wait for it) the "Kim Ill Dong."

Thank you, thank you, I'll be here all week.

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