The Torfivious Mr. Spock

The Star Trek remake is progressing just like a big old satchel full of greased-up clockwork. They are already in the looping stage, I understand (this is when unnecessary vocal tracks are laid down again and again), and will soon complete costumes and set building. Yes, they have chosen to do the looping first, prior to actual filming, and, as you will hear from the clip, Mark Northover is clashing a bit with the director of the film over the spoken intro to the film. Oh well, such clashes happen.

Caldenfold Foith, chief effects supervisor for Industrial Light and Magic, is hard at work making the latex torso and hips that will be used for Mark Northover as he protrays the lower half of Mr. Spock. There are some radical new designs for the look of Mr. Spock: the handsome Mr. Spock, the special Mr. Spock, the diff'rent Mr. Spock, and the gorgeous Mr. Spock. Which one they choose remains to be seen. Mark Northover, being a Method Actor in the mode of Jim Varney, is studying for his role as the lower half of Mr. Spock by following around a professional model's lower half for six months, learning to emulate her mannerisms and way of talking.

Meanwhile, Warwick Davis, secluded in his mountainside cabin, is hard at work learning to operate the robotic arm attachments that will portray most of Mr. Spock's arms. Rumor has it that the arms have gained sentience and are currently battling Warwick Davis for control of his everlasting soul, but this remains speculative at the moment. Since Mr. Spock speaks mostly with electronic beeps and bloops throughout the film and has, at most, three lines of spoken dialogue (rumored to be, 1. "Jim, my Pon Faar is affecting my pants." 2. "Logic makes my Pon Faar go all crazy like." 3. "My arms are trying to kill me with their evil sentience. Please stop filming and save my life."), Warwick has few lines to memorize, so he can spend the bulk of his time fending off the evil attacks of the self-aware robot arms.

As of yesterday at noon, the working title for the new movie was Star Trek One: Mark Northover's Infinite Voyages Throughout the Anamolous Locations of the Moiety, but that is subject to change. I will bring you more information as soon as I can steal it from George Lucas's briefcases.