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Thursday, September 21, 2006

Coconut a pseudonym? Noe! Noe! Noe!

I'll have Nuffy know that Linus Coconut is a distinguished member of the East Coast Coconut family, who own a major chain of hotels (Coconuts Inns), Thrift shops (Coconuts R Us), and even a chain of fine restaurants and pubs. Ever heard of the Coconut Grove? Well, these are just like that, only seedier and with a more limited menu.

Furthermore, Linus, or Mr. Coconut to you, is well known to the cognescenti of the shores of dear old Columbia. I don't mean Columbia the cocaine capital of the world, though he is also known there. I mean Columbia, Gem of the Ocean, in particular several suburbs of Madison, Wisconsin, and Kalamazoo, Michigan. Also, by cognescenti, I mean the staff of Coconuts R Us, and the late Bob Denver, who Linus once accidentally knocked over at a Grateful Dead concert.

Finally, Linus is highly regarded by the military-industrial complex and also several Hollywood stars, mainly because he does their taxes and fixes them up with really good accomodations when they stay in Washington (at the lovely Coconut Monument Hotel, situated in the basement of the Lincoln Memorial).

So, don't think you can casually cast aspersions at the only other member of DOUI who is a strong candidate for medications so easily! It will take more aspersions than that. A lot more! Asperse away, then!


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