Where the Heck Have I Been?

...Working, mainly. I have been tweeting when I can, which is more infrequently than usual. I have decided to regale you with some of my recent tweets, as I'm still working on some other bits for DoUI. Rather than pick them myself though, I thought I'd let the good people of Twitter make the choice (and not just because I'm lazy, you cynics).

So, here are some of my most recent tweets to get re-tweeted. I hope you get as much fleeting amusement as the kind people who re-tweeted them.

• I lost my job as a snake handler. They said I didn't know a rattlesnake from my asp. #repundancy
• Redundancy Man - He automatically acquires the superpower of a hero who just completed a job. #LameSuperHeroes
• Potluck Be a Lady, Tonight #ZombieSongs 
• I Beret the Living #Frenchmovies
• Ronald McDonald? If we're going to target fast food icons, couldn't we start with the perverted Burger King first? #foodpolicesuck
• Star Wars V: The Empire Surrenders #Frenchmovies #onlykiddingFrance!
• Dude, Where's My Peugeot? #Frenchmovies
• Dear @CDCemergency In your helpful post on prepping for a #zombie apocalypse, you left out a key item: Shotguns. Lots and lots of shotguns.
• Charlie and the Tranya Factory #KidsStarTrekBooks
• The reason Donald Duck is trending? You get attention when you don't wear pants. #badattention
• Now that Donald Trump is out of the race, the mantle for worst hair in the running moves to Gary Johnson. Carry it well, Gary!
• Donald Trump is not running for president. He didn't feel he could stand overseeing another bankruptcy.
• It amazes me how many non-theists will latch on to Stephen Hawking's atheist statements but have nothing to say about his info loss paradox.
• "Beep beep ring, beep, whistle, beep, pants" #replaceawordinastarwarslinewithpants
• It's #starwarsday so you can expect to see an 800% increase in "light sabre" euphemisms on Twitter, today.
• Everything Blows Up When I Drive My Car #nicolascagemovieideas