It's Oscars time. Somebody wake the Grouch.

Friday, February 25, 2005

First Post of the Day!

...man what a pathetically slow day. At least I got one in.

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Update: The 3 of you who regularly tune in are probably wondering what's become of Stew. He's sick with the clap. No, wait a minute, that wasn't it. Dysentery, is what he said on the phone. I think he was joking. I do recall that it involved projectile vomiting and profuse bodily discharges, or was it a slight temperature and the sweats?

Can you tell I don't know that much about medicine. I would have been lousy acting on ER. You'd have the scene where the critical patient comes in and I'd have some line along the lines of "I need 20 cc's of atropine now! Pass me the scalpel, Martini clamps, and the ovular retractor. I'm going to have to bypass the fernuncular vestrel valve and perform a lapiscodomy on the upper ricola." I can't even write it. I'd sound like the Katzenjammer Kids and Noah Wylie and Sherry Stringfield would constantly lose it on set and guffaw into the crash cart. Eventually they'd run out of fake blood and I'd be sacked for Les Nesman's disease.

Anyway Stew, get well soon as there's live blogging to do tomorrow for the Academy Awards. I'd like to tell everyone we'll be right outside the Kodak Theatre but Jack "Boom Boom" Valenti has a 200-mile restraining order on us for "making fun of Lindsay Lohan and Hillary Duff." I guess we know who's breast pocket Jack is in.

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