Bolton to be next UN Ambassador? Wanderers?

While I haven't had time to read the actual article, the headline of this AP story promises to set an unusual and slightly disturbing precedent for international politics. Am I to understand that President Bush wishes to appoint the Bolton Wanderers to be the United States Ambassador to the United Nations?

Now, Bolton is an English footballing side, and one with no Americans as well. Why not Fulham, who boasts Americans Brian McBride and Carlos Bocanegra in the side? Or, Manchester City, with US National Team Captain Claudio Reyna? Why this blue-collar, albeit recently revived, Premier League side without so much as a Canadian or Mexican on their roster, much less an American?

Well, obviously Bush wants to get tough with the U.N. Bolton are a big, physical side who would just as soon slide-tackle David Beckham's granny as negotiate with the Syrians. They are strong in the air, which is Kofi Annan's weakness, given his gimpy hamstrings. They should keep the UN in their own half for much of the term.

Endurance is a worry though for Bush who has to convince Bolton gaffer Sam Allardyce to bring in some harriers to handle the long runs. Still, with a stingy defence and a couple of opportunistic forwards, Bolton could very well see Annan's side back down to the Nationwide League, leaving the U.S. to battle it out with Arsenal, Man. United, and league leaders Chelsea (expletive deleted) for the Premiership crown and the all important berths to the Champions League.

I predict a shutout for United (States) with goals from El Haji-Diouf, Fernando Hierro, and Condelezza Rice.